Being Marist in "The Real World" - Chapter 11

Chapter 11: "My Life is An Unfinished Sandwich"

Dear Reader,

Timmy Hagan, this one's for you!

Last week after attending a church service, I went to dinner with some beautiful people. These were people who have watched me grow for months/years & wanted to catch up with me and the other people who were there. There were several points during our time together where the attention was all on me to say something funny or update-ish on my life as of late. I handled it all pretty well because I'm used to being put on the spot to be comic relief, but I was called out for not eating my food in its entirety like everyone else at the table. On the fly, I was like "well, it's kinda like a metaphor," & went off on a small, yet expected, tangent as to why this chicken sandwich was not fully eaten and enjoyed. "You see, this is a representation of my life as of right now. My life is an unfinished sandwich." I'm not sure what else I said, but clearly no one was taking me seriously (which is so expected). Then I hear Timmy say "Being Marist in The Real World - Chapter 11: 'My Life is an Unfinished Sandwich'", which made everyone who knew about my blog laugh. It made me laugh too, don't get me wrong. But I was thinking to myself "that's not a bad idea for a title." If I'm going to correlate unfinished sandwiches with life lessons, I'm gon' make it sound tasty.

(Somewhere in the world, Timmy took a deep sigh, thought "is he serious", and contemplated reading the rest of this chapter.)

If life, as a whole, is a sandwich, then I would want to make the first part of life "preparing to make the sandwich", the second part "making the sandwich", the third part "eating the sandwich", then last part "cleaning up". It's up to you to decide where you think you are, but lately, I've been stressed a lot. I don't know why, but I always feel as if I'm running out of time. Ever since I realized that I'm turning twenty years old this year (12/4), I've been acting as if I'm running out of time. It may stem from my constant and valid fear of not living a long life due to the systematic oppression that black women and men face in America (...oh what? you mad? you mad cuz i said it? oh, i said it. i said it. I SAID IT!), but I'm unconsciously always anxious that it'll be my last day on this planet. I tend to always act as if I'm in the "cleaning up" stage of my life. I talk like an old sage, I give friends un-needed life advice, and stress that I'm not leaving an impact on people's lives.

I remember sitting in a car with my two good friends (shoutout to Tiana and {bearded} Tyler P. {PS: song of the week is dedicated to you two...and Timmy}) just chillin', listening to music, and talking about life when I just spoke out of turn saying "Yo, everyone I know is going to die one day." It's an alarming statement, at least for me, to make because I'm always such an optimist and the statement was so existentially alarming. But it's not like it's a false statement. It's true. I'm going to have to attend a lot of funerals in my lifetime because there are so many beautiful people in my life that left such an impact for me. It's devastating to think about, but I mention this because this type of thinking isn't healthy for any stage of life you may think you're in. In technical terms, I'm still in the "preparation process"of life and I'm stressing like it's almost over. It's not fair to do this to myself and I urge you, my friend, to not do that either.

Yes, understand that everyday is not promised. However, also understand that your life isn't done yet. You and I are unfinished sandwiches that God didn't finish eating yet. No matter where you are in life, you're not done. We still have more business to handle, more love to give, more lessons to learn, and more people and things to encounter. God isn't complete with his mission for us yet. So, don't worry about "not making it" in time or "running out" of time. Don't think about the fact that life ends and start living for now. Instead of thinking "Damn, I only have a certain amount of time before I am gone so let me rush through life and not stop to do anything that'll be worthwhile", think to yourself "Damn, I have so much love to give and things to see before God calls me home, so let me LIVE this life to the best of my ability." We are all unfinished sandwiches, man. Don't feel rushed to finish something you want to enjoy.

Sincerely Yours Sometimes,


PS: SONG OF THE WEEK: The Menzingers - Lookers

(Every time I post, I will include a song that may or may not correlate with the topic I write about. This is me thanking you for reading my posts by gifting you with good music.)

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